The Truth About Boomer Sex

Truth:

Boomer sex doesn’t feel the same as it was in your 20s and 30s.

It might take a while longer for males to get an erection, but that time can be spent on foreplay. Most females think about slowing the pace down to enhance sensuality. Doctors might prescribe men with erectile medications like Cialis or Viagra. Vaginal dryness can be overcome with a lubricant that is water-based. It is normal for post-menopausal women to use such accessories, and there’s no shame in consulting a medical professional about more ways to improve boomer sex.

Boomer sex is more about mutual satisfaction.

Both partners take pleasure in sexual activity and set their own standards on quality. Historically, baby boomers haven’t been limited by what was considered normal, so they aren’t likely to have a change of heart as they age. Sex can be mundane if everyone is doing the same thing, anyways. What’s fun for your friends might be boring to you, and vice versa.

Boomer sex can make older people feel young again.

Gone are the days when couples slept in separate beds. Sex doesn’t have a shelf life for boomers. In the modern era, literature, products, and guidance are accessible to all of us. Those things can help us emotionally, physically, and sexually in ways we can’t achieve on our own. Sure, sex is still a topic most of us have quietly behind closed doors, but our generation is more inclined to discuss our sexual desires and needs with our partners, more so than past generations did.

Boomer sex is healthy.

Research indicates that ongoing sexual activity improves our own physical health (enhances the immune system and sleep habits; lowers stress) as well as our mental health (excitement, joy).

Truth:

Men always want sex.

For numerous reasons, men might not be “in the mood” as often as women. The idea that men are always craving sex is what might make many males anxious, which subsequently inhibits sexual performance. It is unrealistic to believe men are ready, willing, and able to have sex at the drop of a hat.

After menopause, women don’t care about sex.

Not true. Women’s psychological and physical needs progress long after menopause. Issues regarding pregnancies and dry vagina tissues are no longer a concern after menopause, making sex more intimate and less pressured. Also, doctors might recommend HRT (hormone replacement therapy) to reactivate a woman’s sex drive, if desired.

You must have sex X times per week.

What does the X represent? Once a day? Three times a week? There is no set number established for boomer sex, and the frequency will vary for every couple. Quality of sex is more important than frequency.

Sex isn’t complete without an orgasm.

This misconception likely originated through film and television shows. Boomer sex is better measured by how satisfied both partners are upon having intercourse, especially if foreplay lasts a while and provides both partners with the desired pleasure. Research indicates that women don’t need to have an orgasm to enjoy the experience.

Old school tactics are best for boomer sex.

Boomer sex can be more enjoyable when partners are open to trying out new things, especially if they weren’t open to them before. As we evolve, we might not be so resistant to things we once disliked or shied away from. In the meantime, positions, techniques, ideas, and even accessories have changed for the better. You might be more open to something you were once not inclined to do if it’s changed over the years.

It’s strange to want to have sex after a certain age

Boomer sex doesn’t come with an expiration date. It is normal to want to have sex no matter how old you are. It is advantageous for our psychological and physical health. Sexual activity stimulates dopamine in our brains, and as such, our mood, motor functions, and intentions are impacted. That’s how we get the afterglow effect. Studies conducted on participants ranging from 18 to 80 years of age revealed that feelings of love triggered identical dopamine levels.

Lack of interest in boomer sex

Medical problems like high blood pressure, diabetes, depression, stress, fatigue, and other issues, in addition to the prescriptions we use to treat such conditions, can restrict or eliminate interest in sex. This can be resolved with a visit to your doctor, who may prescribe male arousal medications (Levitra, Viagra, Cialis, etc.) or female hormonal treatments. Relationship or psychological issues might also be a cause, warranting a group effort with third-party experts, such as a licensed counselor.

Lack of communication for boomer sex

Although they aren’t as inhibited as the generations that came before them, boomers might have trouble talking to partners about what they enjoy (and what they don’t). Some tips to resolve this include:

• Watch a video or read a manual that explains techniques; then compare approaches with one another.
• Think about all your options tactically and with sensitivity; even if you opt not to do something, don’t shame your partner for suggesting it.
• One partner should give the other a “pleasure touch” test, where both react to what feels good by intensity, location, stroke, etc.

Be mindful that it’s normal to ask for help outside of your relationship through manuals, books, therapists, doctors, etc. Whatever discussion you have about sex, keep it out of the bedroom.

Spice up your bedroom play

Boomers are more likely that any previous generation to be open to spicing up their sex life with sex toys or aids. Long gone are the days of the sniggers at cheap plastic dildos and dongs. Today's discerning boomers demand high quality aesthetically appealing and well researched toys from highly respected manufactures like Svakom and are willing to pay more for the quality.